A world so crazy
My world is divided into two and I don’t want to mix them up any time soon. One is the life at my school, college and then there is another world which has remained constant from the time I was born. This world is where I become the happiest, where I can dig a hole and bury my miseries and where I can shout out my opinions that stand out against the rest of the world, they might not accept it but they will not love me any lesser, the place I can crack the lamest jokes and still get some laughter of encouragement. Sometimes I wish only this world existed, but then I realize god created two worlds to balance the equation.
My family is not just my mom, dad and sister, they play the major roles, but actually it compromises of my grandma, my mom’s two younger sisters and their husbands, three daughters and a son. We don’t consider each other as aunt and daughter of my elder sister (me) but as mom and for her my daughter, nor do we introduce their daughters and son as our cousins. But at times if a scenario happens such as when there is just one uncle who has taken the six of us for a movie or something and he meets his friend then we might get introduced separately, but if we are all in a mood to joke around and my dad especially likes to do this, he tells them these are all my kids and watch their expression which displays shock. So basically I have four sisters and one elder brother. People call my elder brother Hitler, not Adolf Hitler but based on a Malayalam movie where the actor has five sisters and is called as such because he protects them and wards off their boyfriends, so one of the guys name him Hitler a bit of a cliché. So my brother gives out the same appearance with his looks and when he takes us out for shopping and movie, he walks in front with a look that clearly says ‘you dare look or come anywhere near them, I will crush each and every bone of yours’ while the rest of us obediently follow him just like it is in the movie. But we five actually need such guidance, because as soon as he blinks, we would be out of sight.
There are friends and then there are cousin-friends and for me the latter is always top of the list, because people coming under the term friends, however close they are you can’t fart and get a longer and louder fart in return in a challenging way. This is also a challenge in my household elders included, who can fart the healthiest that is loud, long, variety sound effects like a huge bomb effect which is followed by a small squeak of a fart and if it stinks, then you better get the money out which comes under the Malayalam saying ‘manam indel kash idutho’ (if it stinks take out your cash and hand it to me). It is a huge factor which brings the family to tears out of laughter and the happiness from farting without being conscious, taking it as a sport, in the good spirits that does make a huge difference. Alcohol is another topic where I have found people giving me looks which clearly say “I don’t believe you”. Believe me or not the first drink I have had is from my father. Also the first smoke was from my father if I think about that. Now people tend to judge this, but with so much freedom to take a sip from your dad glass you tend to not drink from other places. What goes through our minds are like we get it at home, then why should we go drink with a stranger? Not probably applicable everywhere but it works in our household. Also drinking is bad blah, blah, blah, well in my life I decide what’s bad and good.
Talking about my siblings, we six have a bond and have such different characters that when we come together it fits as if the pieces of a jig saw puzzle have been placed. There are the two elder ones who stop us from doing something extreme and even complain at times to our parents when we go beyond control. Then there is the three of us to whom the adventures just seem to find us, we never have to go look for it, we are like the famous five, but the excitements and adventures in our life is not solving a crime but finding a treasure of sorts, like stacks of porn videos. The first time we ended up watching porn by mistake was in fifth standard. We were looking for a movie to watch, there was no one at home except the five of us and found our brothers stock by mistake of course. But we did watch the whole thing if my memory hasn’t failed me.
The best part is whatever we are into, there is a line which we should not cross, but still our parents are pretty cool about most of the stuff. We can talk about our crush; moms told her us about her love story which is really romantic but he died of cancer in her fifth year of engineering, so a very sad ending after listening to it I gave her ‘walk to remember’ by Nicholas Sparks at the end of which she just burst out and wept half the day leaving the chores to us, so that was a bad idea; also one of our main topic of discussion at the dining table is shit, “how was the shit-loose or stuck tightly and very hard to push type”, or “how many times did you shit today”,” this dish looks exactly like the way I shat this morning- the colour, shape so exact that I feel that you dug out my shit and served it off”, “this dish looks exactly like when we have a loose motion right”, or during breakfast- “you know the dosa piece that I had yesterday it came out as it is, stuck onto another piece of shit”, “I saw a shit piece that looks like your face, sister”, “mom there is shit stuck on the closet I tried flushing it but no chance, so all of us must put our best efforts when we enter there and try to flush it off the surface”, “I shat so much that the pieces rose above the water, I have a dream to fill the closet with shit someday”; well it goes on and on, but I think I have made my point clear; best point about the four of us me, dad, mom and sister is that we don’t bitch about anyone and we hardly care what the neighbours are up to and that’s probably why she, my mother, has a very short neck. Other family members are huge gossipers, the real BBC, they receive the news before it is telecasted anywhere. Some of my siblings and aunts are skilled in imitation and a gathering is their main area of showing their talent which is the highlight of the night, makes everyone laugh and makes us huge nuisances to our neighbours.
We do have our faults of men dominance, religious superstitious beliefs, caste (huge headache during the period of marriage), gives consideration to the society “What will Sushila think of us when she hears about this” is my aunts constant reason for increase of blood pressure level. My parents don’t give a damn about any of the above mentioned factors but they do restrict us from certain things which could come under the banner of “We are worried about you, we care for you”. But if we stay a bit stubborn and cry a bit then they’re pure hearts will melt and they will agree to anything, even if it is to marry a tribal nomad from Antarctica. So overall we are awesome and I couldn’t ask for anything better.